Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

What are some signs that someone may be being stalked by an organization or secret society? How can they find out for sure?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Can women learn to squirt?

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I see through liars

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

Trump tariffs expected to dampen global economic growth, OECD says - The Washington Post

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

Why do some people feel down in summer, specifically in July and August? What could be the reasons behind this feeling of sadness during those months only?

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

‘Peacekeeper’ under investigation for role in Salt Lake City protest shooting - The Salt Lake Tribune

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

‘Marathon’ NDA Alpha Leaks Show Visual Improvements, Detail New Additions - Forbes

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

Dopamine Neurons Map Future Rewards, Not Just Past Ones - Neuroscience News

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

2025 NBA Finals: 4 things to watch for in Game 3 - NBA

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

Supplement health risks to know about, plus a celebrity's 'brutal' infection - Fox News

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I know who the president of Turkey really is

Natural Compound in Rice and Coffee May Protect Against Heart Attacks - SciTechDaily

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

Pic: Manel Kape shares video of him fracturing foot in sparring ahead of UFC 317 - ‘I can’t walk!’ - MMAmania.com

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I have a reading level above third grade

What is something you want to "get off your chest"?

I don’t buy bullshit

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I can read

John Isner now ranks where Carlos Alcaraz's win over Jannik Sinner sits in the best matches ever, 'I'm changing my tune' - The Tennis Gazette

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Fred Espenak, astronomy's 'Mr. Eclipse', dies at 71 - Space

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

Why is Reddit blocked by the Indonesian government?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I actually pay taxes

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I can count